"I can see that McDonalds sign over there!" That was the first thing Ryan said after walking out of the eye doctors last week with his new glasses. That was after we pulled him away from all the mirrors in the place. He was certainly diggin' his new look! I am not sure if his comment was true or just a not so subtle hint that he thought a meal at McDonalds would truly complete his day. There were no burgers in sight that night, but according to him he can see now! They are staying on quite well and we are thrilled that he does not need another band around his head nor some goggle'ish looking eye wear! They are a little cockeyed in this photo because he had been messing with them...

Puzzling!

I am just not sure how this is happening...I have for all tense and purposes 3 hours to myself each day and I am utterly exhausted and have even less time than ever. I am suppose to have more time especially since everyone is on a somewhat normal schedule and children are in the same vicinity. What is happening here?!? All my big plans are just not going as planned. I hate to say how many hours have been spent in doctor's offices in the last week between two well child visits, a new patient visit to an ENT, and an excruciating visit to the eye specialist at the big "University" hospital in our area today. Then, there has been the chauffeuring Mike around as we attempt to get Herbie back on the road with his engine adjustments and wheels. There has also been the frantic sprint to complete the renovations enough so that the building and electrical inspector could come out and do a final inspection. Oh, dear! Good news is that we passed the inspection and the Certificate of Occupancy should be in the mail. Bad news is we still have lots of renovation work ahead and Ryan now needs glasses. Good news is the glasses got ordered today and it appears that he has enough "ear" to rest his glasses on and his BAHA band will secure it enough to hold the glasses in place and I have had an opportunity to have lots of waiting room "one-on-one" time with my boys.
Wish I could fast forward to Thursday and Friday as we have nothing written on the calendar except a trip to see the circus (part of Ryan's birthday gift)... Aaah...Calm mornings ahead, perhaps!?!

Marking the 2011 Calendar!!

God is good! The six figure digit is no longer the figure we are looking at for Ryan's surgeries. It does not appear like we are going to have to move, get a second mortgage on the house, nor will I have to go back to work...All scenarios that have been running through my mind since we started the entire process. Yes, we will need to cut back and be even more mindful of our spending, but we can do it!!
Ryan is scheduled to have his surgeries on February 23, 2011 and June 17, 2011. For each surgery, we will need to be in So. California for 2-3 weeks. At this point, the entire family will go back for the June 17th surgery and we will use that as our summer vacation. Although we need to be there for this length of time, each surgery is outpatient and there are a few days even a week between appointments. Depending upon the doctor's recommendation, we might be able to travel up to my sister's place (San Francisco area) a be there for close to a week. A third surgery will have to be scheduled with a different doctor at a later time in 2011 to implant the BAHA screw. So exciting to have the dates in place and reserved. Ryan is excited although he doesn't seem to grasp the concept that he will still need to wear his BAHA.
That is the update and we are thanking God every chance we get for this blessing!

Drum Roll, Please....

Although we never got the banner flying behind the airplane with our answer, we feel called to move forward with Ryan's surgeries. So, that is what we are doing. We are going to begin walking through those doors, all the while praying that God will shut the doors if this is not how we are suppose to proceed. We are excited and a little apprehensive all at once. We have contacted the dr's. office and are awaiting an answer regarding our insurance. Once we have that information, we will begin making the decisions necessary. Thanks to all that have prayed alongside us!!

Discernment

Well, we have had a lot on our minds lately... We have spoken to the doctors and we know what our desire for Ryan is, but we are still seeking confirmation as to God's will. Although our heart and desire is for Ryan to have the reconstructive surgery, we do not know with 100% certainty that it is God's will. So, we are seeking an answer. Is God using this dilemma to teach us something? Of course, He is! For one, He is drawing us closer to Him and closer to one another. Is he teaching me? You betcha - This isn't about a Mommy's heart or a little boy's appearance. I can clearly see all sides of the issue. Although one is much more desirable than another and much more "acceptable", is it the right path? These days I feel like I am on a teeter totter - one minute I am confident that we need to go ____ way and then several hours later I feel like maybe we need to go the complete opposite direction. Many of my "self talk" conversations go a little like this...
Yes, I want him to look like other children and for him not to endure any teasing and taunting. However, I know he will - just as Rylee and Morgan will most likely at some point in their lives for one reason or another. So, is that reason enough? Probably not. There is no reason to do the surgery for hearing purposes since that is no longer a possibility. Basically, it comes down to a "cosmetic issue". Most people don't even notice his ears when they meet him. God chose Ryan for us and us for Ryan - was it possibly for "such a time as this"? One of those purposes being that we could provide him with this opportunity that he would not have been provided with otherwise? I have such a great sense of peace regarding the surgery option and the doctor we have selected. So, is that God telling us to proceed? On the other side of the coin, God made Ryan this way. Does he want to use him as he was created to reach others or as part of his testimony?
That is just one little snippet of what is on my mind these days. Oh...I am so confused!! If you have a spare moment, please say a little prayer for us as we attempt to discern God's will. Stay tuned...

House Call

Today, the doctor called Mike and I. Let me clarify since everyone is officially now confused, this is the doctor that will perform the outer ear surgery/reconstruction. Inner ear surgery at this point is not happening. Although, we are waiting on that doctor in VA to call us as we have questions regarding the option of opening up an ear canal for the purpose of using a conventional hearing aid. The doctor seemed like a very nice man and we are looking forward to working with him. He answered the few questions that we had and got the additional information he was needing regarding Ryan. At this point, we are looking at the first surgery happening in January/February and scheduling the second in June. A six month window between surgeries is what he recommended. We will know more and have more specifics once his assistant is able to muddle through our insurance and once we figure out all the financial aspects. We are not looking at the same expenses as we were when we were considering the combined surgery, but it is still a very large sum that is upfront and out of pocket. It is very comforting feeling a peace about the whole process and the doctor. We are so grateful for those that have walked before us. While it is still months away, we are excited for Ryan and the path ahead!!!

Atresia Repair - Option or Not An Option?!?

Today, we received a phone call from Dr. #2 regarding the atresia repair surgery (inner ear reconstruction). And, the answer was the same as Dr. #1. Atresia repair surgery is not an option for Ryan. He scored a 4-4.5 in his right ear and a 5 in his left ear. Obviously a 40-50% chance of restoring hearing is not enough to justify the procedure or risk. This doctor was so nice and if anyone is looking for a good ENT in the state of Virginia, email me!! We are thankful that God has been so gentle with us along the way and that He has given us such great peace!! We will review this doctor's written report once we receive it and may ask a few questions as he did mention surgery for the purpose of wearing a traditional hearing aid. This door has closed and we will begin to walk down this next path of outer ear reconstruction. We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that have gone out concerning Ryan and this particular surgery.