Walkin' A Tenth of A Mile...

in Ryan's shoes! Whew!! What a week it has been... After the kids got sick, I got sick. I figured it would turn into the croup that kids had, but it appeared it was just the common cold. That is until Sunday came around... Within a matter of minutes, my ear was giving me problems. I mean this was like a night and day thing - one minute I am fine and the next minute my ear is driving me crazy (really crazy)...There was no easing into it, it just happened. So, I go into the clinic and the nurse tells me that my ear is extremely red... Figuring it is an ear infection, I get my antibiotics and go home... By that night, I can not hear anything out of that ear. After five days of not hearing anything out of my ear, I return and am now on another round of stronger antibiotics. I have no idea how to describe the noise that I am hearing in that ear, except to describe it as a "white" noise...It is extremely annoying especially when I am out in public with all of the background noise - I have had a hard time assessing my voice level and thus have been whispering without knowing - Mike was beginning to think he had problems with his hearing. Thankfully, the family is being very patient with me. I have to say that although it is very frustrating and annoying, I could describe it as a gift. Although this is not exactly what Ryan is experiencing, it does give me a little insight and even more empathy for the little fella! One night, I decided to try out his BAHA on the side that I am unable to hear out of and I must say I could hear and it was crystal clear!! The sensory overload is amazing...When taking a shower, I can hear every drop pounding my head - it almost sounds like rain on a tin roof (no snide comments necessary ;o) !). When drinking water, the sound is magnified and sounds like waves swishing...The chewing will drive you up the wall!! At night, I can hear every time my heart beats - that is especially annoying as it is not exactly soothing when you are attempting to sleep. I do not know if that is what Ryan experiences and I will probably never know as he has not known anything different nor does he have the language yet to describe for me what he hears. I can now understand why he is so loud even with his BAHA on and why he is especially loud at meal time. I can now understand why he sometimes has difficulties when out in public. I knew these things, but to actually experience them firsthand gives you a whole different perspective and understanding. As I said, this is probably no where near what life is like for Ryan, but God has granted me a little insight and for that I am so thankful!!

A Year!

Wow! Today it has been a year.... I remember last year at this time sitting by the computer waiting and wondering...What would my little boy's personality be like? Was he healthy? Could he hear anything? What does he like? Would he like Mike and Morgan? So many questions running through my mind. On the other side of the world, Mike and Morgan were meeting this precious gift that God had moved mountains to unite with our family. I can remember Mike saying (via instant messaging) that he was a chunk...It was later that night while he was peeling the layers of clothing that inside was really a much thinner child. Morgan recalls Ryan's screaming and crying as the orphanage officials handed him over to Mike. He also remembers Ryan bolting for the door determined to get away. I can remember hearing him making noises and yearning to be there to hold him! A year later, this child is so much more than we could ever have imagined and still God is moving mountains in his life! He brings a balance and joy that we never would have known was missing in our lives. He is a strong little boy that takes everything in stride. He still loves cars and trucks, but loves his turtle even more! He melts the hearts of those who meet him and is quite the adventurer. He has a gentle spirit and we have great confidence that God is going to use this little boy in mighty ways! How we can't wait to see his story unfold even further...We love you little fella - We wouldn't be the same without you!!

Ryan is loving school. Morgan reports that all of the teachers they pass on the way to Ryan's classroom smile and wave to him. He is singing some songs now and the other day while walking circles around our kitchen table, he said "Monday, Tuesday". Guess he is getting the concept of the calendar at circle time! Last night, in an attempt to get them to follow my directions, I said out of frustration "Oneee, twooo..." and then stopped. He came back into the room and held up three fingers and said "three" as if I had forgotten what number came next. He is a funny little fella! Recently, my days have been spent washing underwear and sheets as he is going through another wetting spell. Not sure what is going on as we went through the same thing about a month ago.

Signed, Sealed, and Final!!

Ahhhh!

Yes, there are many things in life that I have waited anxiously for...The day we got married, Morgan to be born, the day we left for China to meet Rylee, Mike and Morgan's arrival home from China, and for this little, white box to show up in our mailbox. What is it, you ask? The replacement BAHA - Who knew exactly how delicate this little contraption is! While Ryan took his shirt off last weekend, the BAHA fell to the floor from his level (as it had done before). After doing so, I put it back on him and it began making horrible, amplified, crackling sounds. I tried troubleshooting the problem (changing batteries, tapping the processor/black box, etc) and could not get it back into running order. Let me just tell you.... It was the longest week waiting for the problem to be resolved! Ryan had temper tantrums because he could see his soft band and wanted his "BAHA" right then and there! He was constantly screaming, yelling "What?, What?", and was just generally out of sorts. Add on to all of this, his first week of school and not being able to understand everything going on around him. It was very trying and stressful for us all. Seeing that little, white box in the mailbox today brought a sense of peace. After opening it up and reattaching the processor to the band, I took it down to Ryan and announced "BAHA fixed!" - Oh, how I wish I had my camera handy. His face lit up and we all did the "Happy Dance!" All I can say is "Aaaaaahhh!"

Ryan's First Day

Our baby is off to preschool. He is attending Morgan's school for preschool this year. Here, he will receive the services (speech therapy and deaf education support) necessary to increase his language skills. He is going Monday through Thursday for 3 hours each day. Today was his very first day. It is amazing how we continue to learn important lessons about parenting even with child #3. We spent some time debating whether or not we should drop him off in the drop-off circle or walk him into the school for the first couple of days. After much debate, we decided that for him he needs to start off with whatever will be the routine (much like Morgan). So, Mike dropped Ryan and Morgan off in the circle. Although it is imaginable to think that we just dropped him off and did not go in to check on him, I have learned that it is our responsibility as parents to do what is the right thing for our children and not what we have to do for ourselves. I am 100% confident that he was well cared for during the walk to his class as a teacher walked him directly there and that all of his needs were met during his day. So, we have to place our trust in God's hands. When I picked him up from school, he was happy to see the van in the pick-up circle. The teacher reassured him that I was there and even moved him so that he could keep his eye on our van. A sweet little "Hello! Mommy!" could be heard. It is hard to believe that he has only been with us 8 months tomorrow. He is still learning many things one being that Mommy and Daddy will not leave him and that we will be there for him! As I expected, I did not get much out of him as to what happened at school. It doesn't help that his BAHA is not working properly (making horrible, loud crackling noises) and he has not been able to wear it for 3 days. Hopefully, the drop-off process will go smoothly tomorrow!

Look At Me...I'm THREE!!!

Ryan's first birthday with us! He was not quite sure what to think of everything. He watched Daddy make his fire truck cake (a whole other story) two nights in a row and could not understand why he could not have any. Since he kept being told "not today" he has obsessed about the cake every day. During our early morning run to buy a cake at the grocery store this morning, he got upset because we looked at all these cakes but did not leave with one. After store number 2, he insisted on "brown cake"! No use arguing, if that is what he wanted, that was what we were getting - I am thinking he figured he better be adamant about it or he would not be getting one. So, tonight he had "brown cake" and enjoyed every moment of it! He did not question the whole ritual of opening presents and looked so surprised when he found things he recognized (GeoTrax sets). But, he looked at us like we were crazy the entire time we sang "Happy Birthday". About 3/4 of the way through our rendition of "Happy Birthday" he belts out "Whaaa you doin' ?" (see cake picture above). We kept on singing and then proceeded to explain that he needed to blow out the candles. He got one blown out on the first try and eventually he needed some help with the other two. What a joy he is and we can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays with him!!

Oh...the cake saga. Mike was making Ryan a fire truck cake. The first night, he baked it, figured out the logistics/design, and also cut out the shapes needed to make it 3 dimensional. Last night, he began decorating it. He decorated both sides, stuck it in the freezer, and then called me to help put it together. Well, we don't know what happened, but it literally began falling apart as I was holding it in place for him...He was not happy to say the least. Of the 10 or 11 birthday cakes he has made for the kids, this is the first that did not make it to the table. He worked hard and gave it his best...There is always next year...