Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Well, we have had a lot on our minds lately... We have spoken to the doctors and we know what our desire for Ryan is, but we are still seeking confirmation as to God's will. Although our heart and desire is for Ryan to have the reconstructive surgery, we do not know with 100% certainty that it is God's will. So, we are seeking an answer. Is God using this dilemma to teach us something? Of course, He is! For one, He is drawing us closer to Him and closer to one another. Is he teaching me? You betcha - This isn't about a Mommy's heart or a little boy's appearance. I can clearly see all sides of the issue. Although one is much more desirable than another and much more "acceptable", is it the right path? These days I feel like I am on a teeter totter - one minute I am confident that we need to go ____ way and then several hours later I feel like maybe we need to go the complete opposite direction. Many of my "self talk" conversations go a little like this...
Yes, I want him to look like other children and for him not to endure any teasing and taunting. However, I know he will - just as Rylee and Morgan will most likely at some point in their lives for one reason or another. So, is that reason enough? Probably not. There is no reason to do the surgery for hearing purposes since that is no longer a possibility. Basically, it comes down to a "cosmetic issue". Most people don't even notice his ears when they meet him. God chose Ryan for us and us for Ryan - was it possibly for "such a time as this"? One of those purposes being that we could provide him with this opportunity that he would not have been provided with otherwise? I have such a great sense of peace regarding the surgery option and the doctor we have selected. So, is that God telling us to proceed? On the other side of the coin, God made Ryan this way. Does he want to use him as he was created to reach others or as part of his testimony?
That is just one little snippet of what is on my mind these days. Oh...I am so confused!! If you have a spare moment, please say a little prayer for us as we attempt to discern God's will. Stay tuned...

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